Hey guys, this is due in 2 days so can i have some quick feedback and suggestions please :D
Liminality
The bright red flames in the fireplace threw dancing shadows on the living room wall. He kneeled next to it and rubbed his hands together, and the warmth rose inside him. Looking up, he saw her come out of the bathroom wearing a towel, running her hand through her dark wet hair. God, she looked so beautiful to him. Like an angel. The darkness on the walls glowed behind her as she walked towards him and smiled. He smiled back, his mind drifted…
I will never forget her. She’s always been here, always been a part of my mind, always made sure that I had faith in this world and this life. She is the girl that lifted me up when I was down, and let me believe that there is more to life than just living. Because of her, I see the world in colour. Because of her, I can fly in my dreams. Because of her, nothing means everything. And because of her, I am who I am today.
They were two ordinary people, living ordinary lives, but their first encounter was anything but ordinary. They went to the same college and were in the same year, although neither was aware of this. He was on his way home one afternoon on the 3:50 bus, when the girl sitting next to him suddenly leaned her head on his shoulder. He half-turned his head in surprise and realised that she had fallen asleep. Yet he was too afraid to do anything, too afraid to move. He was just that kind of guy.
It was his stop, and the girl was still sleeping peacefully on his shoulder. Gently he lifted her head, and she woke with a start. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry...”
She looked at him, her eyes still only half-opened from her drowsiness, and he noticed how pretty she was. “No, don’t worry about it. I have to get off now, bye.” He got up and squeezed his way to the front of the bus. He couldn’t help turning around to look at her again, and was startled when he saw her standing right behind him.
“This is my stop too. I’m visiting my grandmother.” She grinned at him, as though she had already forgotten what had just happened.
“Oh.” He couldn’t think of anything else to say, and grinned shyly back. They stepped off the bus together.
She’s all I have. I cannot remember how I was before I met her. How empty was my life without her? In this world, she is the only one who understands me. My heart is only complete with her. My mind is always filled with thoughts of her. I cannot even begin to imagine what would happen if she were not here anymore…
“Hello?”
“Hi I was wondering if you wanted to go grab a coffee with me.”
“Oh, that would be great!”
I breathed a sigh of relief, even though I was sure that she would say yes. “Awesome. I’ll meet you at Starbucks –”
“Nah, let’s go to Gloria’s. Twenty minutes, okay?” Amazed at her straightforwardness, I nonetheless agreed and hung up.
Exactly twenty minutes later, I arrived and found her nowhere in sight, so I took a seat next to the window in the café. As I waited, I couldn’t help thinking about her; there was something special about her, something different. Something that made her stand out. We had known each other for only a little over half a year, yet after only a few times of being with her, it felt like I had known her all my life. She was playful, witty, outgoing, and loved to have fun. If she was in a cheerful mood, then that feeling would undoubtedly spread to those around her. Yet her stubbornness was astonishing. She didn’t care how others thought about her, and firmly stuck to what she believed in.
She’s really not my type of girl, I thought to myself. Aloud, I wondered, “then why can’t I forget about her…”
“Forget about who?” I looked up, and there she was, looking at me with her impish smile that always made my heart leap.
I hesitated, and decided to tell the truth. “You,” I said, while she sat down. A look of surprise crossed her face, before the grin quickly returned.
“Don’t flirt with me! I’m taken.” The shocked expression on my face must have shown more than I had wanted, for she laughed aloud and added, “I’m joking, you should know that.”
“Don’t scare me like that…” I breathed out deeply.
She stared me. “Huh?” She was so cute with that confused look on her face.
“Nothing. So what do you wanna get?” I called the waiter across. “I’ll just have a cappuccino, thanks.” I looked across at her.
“Mmmm, I’ll have the same.” As the waiter walked away, she asked again, “So, who couldn’t you forget about?”
“It was you. I… don’t know how to say this.”
For the first time, I saw a look of seriousness on her face. How could I tell her? But as I gazed into her eyes, I could feel the kindness and warmth that she radiated. And then all my fears disappeared.
“I… love you…” I said softly.
Her face broke into a smile.
Suddenly his eyes opened… wet with tears. It was dark around him, and he could not register where he was. He sat up and tightly hugged his knees.
“She’s still here, she’s still here,” he repeated over and over to himself, trembling in his bed.
“She’s still…”
The next day he went to visit her grave.
She had been gone for 15 years.
A ok love the short story we both did the 3rd got me confused i had to read it a couple of time but ya got it that sad but ya nice and romantic short storys. what this for english class.
Beautiful!!
Really really beautiful!
And touching.
There's a few grammatical errors, but they were so insignificant I can't even remember where they were! ^^;
yep english class. thanks for the comments :D
Didn't even know the gramatical errors...... but the sentence and the usage of past tense during the itali writing was a dead give away that she was.... dead lolz.
But my heart did drop during his depression part at the ending.... and when he visited her grave.
Mmmmmm now i feel like writing my "Cock Story"..... later after exams
Bravo ^_^ a sweet short romance story.
i'll tell you guys my result when i get it back :D
LOL
i forgot to tell you guys what i got.. haha
16/25
i lost of the marks coz i didnt do what i was supposed to :P