these jokes arn't to anyone, its just funny so im gonna type it


:D Here :D

1) U thought a quarter back was a refun

2) ur mama is like a door knob and eeevvverrybody gets a turn

3) when u dad was small, when he was in 8grade, when he sat down on a couch, he sat next to eeeeverybody

4) unknown : knock knock!

Yuna : whose there?

unknown : Drain

Yuna : Drain who?

unknown : drain the bath tub im drowning


5) ur so dum, u sat on the t.v and watched the couch

:lol: Here :lol:


thats all

haha i've heard a couple of those, but pretty funny, thanx :lol:

I heard a lot of those, but gotta love them!

I have one too!: Your mama is so old, when Moses split the Red Sea, she was on the other side fishing.

That's an insult LOL!

A engineer got into a train accident as he ran over some loose rocks on a trian track, the train tips over, and he falls out first then the train crushes over him and he looses his legs. At the hospital the doctor comes and says.

Doctor: I have good news and I have bad news about the accident that you were involved in, which news do you want to hear first?

Victim: Give me the bad news first.

Doctor: the bad news is you lost both your legs and your bound to a wheelchair for the rest of your life.

Victim: then what's the good news?

Doctor: the guy in the room next to you wants to bid on your shoes.

The Swedish guy doesn't get the joke :eh?:

lol

someone tell a joke :P

A couple of riddles, and jokes.

For any of those who are offended by any of the written jokes, i appologies in advance.

1) There was a man in a scuba suit lieing dead in a burnt down forest, how did he die?

2) How do you start a mexican race?

3) a)What do u call 3 white men pushing a car up a hill?
b)What do u call 3 black men " " "?
c)What do u call 3 mexicans " " "?

4) a)What do u call a bunch a whites running down a hill?
b)What do u call a bunch a blacks " " "?
c) What do u call a bunch of mexicans " " "?

5) How could you tell if Adam (adam and eve) was the first human?


Answer Key Below...

Dumb Yo mama jokes. To keep you busy while u think.

Yo mama so ugly,
she could make an onion cry.

Yo mama so ugly,
that even her reflection refused to look at her.

Yo mama so fat,
that when she sits on the beach shes the only one that gets a tan.

Yo mama so dumb,
that she returned a puzzle because she thought it was broken.


Now for the answers to the riddles.


1) The guy was scuba diving in an ocean when a fire fighting helicopter scooped him up with water and dropped him on a forest fire.

2) Throw a green card down a hill.

3) a)White Power
b)Black Power
c)Grand Thieft Auto

4) a)Avalaunch
b)MudSlide
c)Jail Break

5) He wouldnt have a belly button.

^haha some of them are pretty good :D

I just thought of another stupid one.

How do Canadian people spell canada.


Ceh Neh Deh

i dont get it :P

Its the way canadian people sometimes finish there phrases.
"How you doing, eh?"
And 'eh" sounds like "a".

ooooooh ok lol.
i had a good joke but i forgot it.. >< i'll post it when i remember.

2 ships were passing in the night, one red , and one blue. They collided that night.
Last report states they were marrooned.

Not my joke but still funny:

Time magazine sent a survey to women in Arkansas, asking for their opinions on the Clinton Sex Scandal. One of the questions: Would you ever have an affair with Bill Clinton? The results were staggering!

5% — No
3% — Yes
92% — Never Again

im really really stupid.. i dont get the clinton one either XP

Sry i missed the last part on the poll, the words "again".

It should make sense now.

ooooooohhhh XD XD

You should tell a joke for once.

ok-


An Italian, and Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site.
The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy. "You're in charge of sweeping," to the Irishman, "You're in charge of shoveling," and to the Chinese guy, "And you're in charge of supplies." "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that pile."
So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched. He says to the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"
The Italian replies, "I didn't have a broom. You said the Chinese guy was in charge of supplies, but he disappeared and I couldn't find him."
So then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel.
The Irishman replies, "I couldn't get myself a shovel. You left the Chinese guy in charge of supplies, but I couldn't find him."
The foreman is really upset now, and storms off toward the pile of sand looking for the Chinese guy.
Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells 'SUPPLIES!"

Wats the first 3 words of the mexican national anthom



Attention K-mart shoppers

huh??

not real funy is it, alittle though

this guy was sayin it and someone else started crackin up, thought maybe someone here wil too

oh..


warning: some people may be offended by the following joke:




First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body.

For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them,

"The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."

Wow thats kinda gross i didnt know you had it in ya. lol.

hmm i should have put a warning eh.. lol i'll edit my post.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it was destined to...

lmao, one of my friends said this and I cracked up... XD

haha this place is THE BEST:

http://www.chickenjoke.com/


the first few arent that funny but keep reading :P

lmao

the saddam one is the best

^yeah :D :D

omfg ming the Med one is so funni

people.. post more jokes..

There was one i heard a lil while ago.

A man walks into a food mart. He picks out two birthday cakes that he had the baker to decorate them. One says happy 8th birthday Jenifer. The other says happy 11th birthday Karen.

When he went to the check out line the woman noticed he had two birthday cakes.
She said "Oh do you have twins?"
The guy said "Yeah, my wife was in labor for 3 years."

Just a stupid joke.

lol yeah i kinda get it

ok my joke: look up 'failure' in google and look at what the first link is :D

I gotz a joke that I got off a movie I just watched

Why dont Black people like country music?
Because when they here hoe down they think they sister got shot

Rofl to you and ming

How can u kinda get my joke? its simple the checkout lady is a moron.

yeah i get it lol
but i dont get haku's one :P

Well i think he might have told it wrong or something cause i heard that before.

Its kind of a racial joke. Saying that alot of black women are hos, so when they say ho down its like "officer down", as in a police officer got shot. Thus its like a black chick got shot. I guess.

I think i heard that on the show premium blend or something. Comedy central.

oh... laaaaame. :P


Three women die in a car accident and go to Heaven. Saint Peter meets them at the Gates and welcomes them saying "you can do as you please in Heaven, just don't step on any ducks."

The women are puzzled but proceed into Heaven. Looking around, they notice there are ducks everywhere. In a matter of minutes, one of the women steps on a duck.

Saint Peter walks up to the woman with a hideously ugly man. Saint Peter shackles the man and the woman together and says, "for stepping on a duck, you have to spend eternity chained to this ugly man."

The other two women are shocked but go about their business until, sure enough, another woman steps on a duck. Immediately Saint Peter comes and shackles her to another ugly man.

The last woman tries desperately to not step on a duck. After a few months of not stepping on any ducks, Saint Peter walks up to the woman accompanied by a stunningly handsome man. He shackles the woman to the man and after a while, the woman being thrilled to be chained to such a handsome man, says "I don't know what I did to deserve this."

The man replies, "I don't know what you did lady, but I stepped on a duck."

Haha nice.