I know you're all tired of hearing me complain about my problems. But I'm going through something really difficult right now, and I don't know how much free time I'll have. I don't want to say that I'm going to be gone for a long time, or I'm leaving forever, because I honestly have no idea what will happen. But I just want to say something, so you don't have to wonder about what happened to whiny old Sathe.

I might be back soon, and I might not. I'll probably be spending what free time I have crying on my bed, so I don't think I'll be thinking much about AHQz.

And for you curious ones, this does have to do with the love of my life, Clay. It also has to do with my cruel father, and my overprotective mother. It also has to do with my best friend, Andrea. AND it has to do with my dropping grades. I think my violent dreams and tendecies to have bizzare conversations with myself come into play, too. So, farewell.

Bye, for now, or forever. I might miss you, and I might not. I might not even be alive to care.


-Sathe

bye
Let's hope that not forever...

Yeah let's hope it's not forever.

Why are everyone leaving for while or forever first Dual and then Sathe
Can't be that bad forum, no it has to be some perosonal porblem :huh:

Yeah...everyone is leaving...but I hope everyone will be back ^_^
And I believe that your problems will be succesfuly solved :good:

NOOO!! You can't leave. I like your long posts, they help me figure out some of my problems too.

Ok this is AxA My Buddy Was On this Account And Saw In his Words

"Some Sathe chicks Leaveing"

I just Felt It Would not Be Right To Say Good Bye And Have a Nice Life And I know Myslef That Alot Of people Will Miss you here. So Sathe I hope Everything Gets Better For you And One Day You Return And I hope THat

Dose not mean What i think So As Ive Said Later Sathe

:axa:

Bye..Hope you havea great life and come back...

Shit. I know Sathe's been going through a lot of hard things, but I didn't expect it to become this bad. It pisses me off how some people make others life's miserable. I'm not gonna say goodbye, because I want to believe she's not gone. Even though I know it's not true.

Well THAT was resolved a lot sooner than I thought it would be... I was expectinge a few weeks at the very least. But I guess two or three days was enough. My problems are still here, but they aren't keeping me from my computer, so I thought I'd try and come back. My posts might not be as frequent...or maybe they will be... I don't really know. Depends on how things go.

Things are better, like I said, but not over. I'd tell all about it, but I don't really feel like typing something out that no one's going to read. So if, for some weird reason, anyone wants to know, ask, and if I'm not tired or hungry I'll share.

I'm glad you all would have missed me. Thank you for your comments, 'specially dualist. ^___^ I feel loved.

Hehe, i want to ask, and btw sathe i always read your long posts :good: . They actually make sense :). so what exactly happened.

Well, I'm tired AND hungry, but I'm also bored and angry, so I'll share...

My family is really complicated. I'll start by explaining that, from the beginning. When I was three years old, my parents got divorced because my dad was having an affair with a woman who is way to young for him. I moved to Lincoln with my mother, and my dad stayed in Omaha and married his bitch. That gave me a stepmother and a stepsister. The stepsister happened to be my best friend at the time, which I thought was cool.. Anyway, we lived in Lincoln for a few years, and my mom met her highschool sweetheart in this freakish death accident... They got married and we moved to Fremont. That gave me a stepfather and a stepsister, who is 6 or 7 years older than me.

We lived like that in relative happiness for about 7 years, and when I was 11, my stepmom got pregnant, and my dad's family moved to Ohio. There a half brother was added to my family. He's turning 3 in a few weeks. My stepfather, meanwhile, was going slightly insane and becoming abusive. Mostly to my mother, but he hit us kids a few times as well. They got divorced, and we moved back to Lincoln. My stepfather and stepsister were never seen again.

SIDE STORY!!! (I love dogs, and we had two when I lived in Fremont. Joker and Shy were my best friends, especially Joker, a purebred German Shepherd. When my stepdad moved out, my dogs mysteriously disappeared a few days later, and they were gone forever. I haven't seen them since. I later learned that my stepsister had come while we were at school and work and taken them, and then sold them to complete strangers.)

(Back to the story!!) I've lived in Lincoln for around 3 years, ish, and I'm starting to adjust. I have a friend or two, and I'm still alive. But I have problems with my father. I have since I was tiny. He's rude, and thinks he's better than everyone. But, really, he's not the problem. My stepmother is horrible. She's always telling us (my brother and me) how we are worthless, and trash, and stupid. She calls us born liars (which I am...but not about the things she says) and she treats her bitch-spawn (my stepsister) as a perfect sweet little angel. The girl is my age, which makes things hard, and we're complete opposites. She's a cheerleader. 'nuff said. She treats me like dirt. Tells me I'm ugly, I smell, I should shower, that no one likes me, that I have no friends and never will, and that sort of thing. But she tells her bitch mommy that I tell her those things, and the whore believes her! I mean, honestly. You can't NOT have friends if you're a cheerleader. She wears too short of skirts to be a loner.

I was just there recently, as I may or may not have mentioned. That got me really depressed, since I'll have to go for 6 weeks this summer, I think. And you probably read my complainy post(s) about my boyfriend, Clay... I have to confess something about him.

I met Clay online... Our relationship is technically illegal. He's...18... We've talked on the phone, and we're meeting soon... I know it's dangerous, but there's this freakish thing... When I lived in Fremont, me and my brother had these friends, David and Ashely. Well, they moved to Texas. Where Clay lives. They were good friends before I met Clay. I've talked to them, and I know he's trustworthy. I don't think he'll abduct/rape/kill me. I love/like him a lot, and he's moving to Omaha soon, so we'll be able to see each other, and as soon as it's legal, bring our relationship out into the open... I can't wait.

But he's taken quite an interest in one of my best friends, Andrea. He talks to me about her a lot, and it's kind of annoying... He also had another lady friend, Cathy, who he'll be living with in Omaha... They've all assured me that nothing is going on, but there are certain events that have made me doubt. One of them drove me to the brink of suicide... With other things contirbuting to my depression, of course, but that hit me hard. But I've decided that as long as I have Clay, the one person who actually says he cares if I live or die, I'll try to stay away from that thar knife...

I kind of lost track of time, and what I was originally going to say, but...meh... You don't need to pretend like you read that. I just needed to rant about things... First time I've really explained my family situation to anyone, though I left a LOT of things out.

EDIT: Ha. I kinda left out something kinda large and important... The larger of the reasons for the whole suicide thingy... For undisclosed reasons, I was going to have to go live with my dad. Year-round. Forever.

Sathe, honey, I can't help but hate your stepmother. She doesn't even deserve to be called 'stepmother.' Why would she say that crap to you and your brother? She does not have the right to do that....I mean, she committed adultery, for goodness sake. Don't do suicide. Seriously. Don't even think about it. It's not cool, and what will we be without you?!
Did you ever go to school with her after your stepsister started acting like that? Did she pick on you at school either? Seriously, if she was picking on you, I'd be at her throat, beating her head in with a stone. She has no fricking right to do that to you. Nor does your stepmother. That's an abomination and it's moronic of them to do that. And your father doesn't do a damn thing about it? Or does he not know? Well, you know that AHQZ and me personally, has got your back in this situation.

I would care if u die :(. Well hopefully you won't and if i were clay, which im unfortunately not, for i would love to have a pretty girl like you for a gf, i would never cheat on you with your friends. Jeez thats like back..nuking if he does do that. Which i'm pretty sure he won't. Well good luck with your life. hehehehe, i wish your stepmother dies in a grueling way and so does your cheerleader whore and you find a good kind person to be with. good luck :)

I've never gone to school with my sister, even though we're the same age.. I live with my mother, so we've always been in seperate towns...thank my nonexistent god...

And I said, I'm not gonna kill m'self... I've got me Clay. However, if I stop posting suddenly, know that he left me or hurt me really, really badly... Without knowing I had him to talk to, I seriously would have killed myself on my latest visit to Ohio. And I'm still contemplating what will happen if I have to go to live in Ohio. I'll either mix up some yummy bleach and ammonia, or fake my death and run away to Texas... And don't try to tell me you'd care if I died. I'm just another random stranger on the internet, I don't affect your life.

Wait, so your father wants you to live with him? Sathe, you've made me feel better, and I consider you someone, isn't that enough. But, seeing your situation, I'd run away at any chance I'd get. But, I give really crappy advice and I don't live your life, so do whatever you, as a minor, can do.

Now u shut up. It's bad when any1 dies. Even a person you mite hate. I dont rlly want fate to be cruel to any1. So if any1 dies that i have the slightest idea who they r i would care. So dont say that. :(

I posted this while crapshack wa posting so i mean the shut up part to sathe.

Just...nevermind... I don't really know why I said any of that. Just was angry, I guess. Thanks for your comments, but I'll do what I choose with my life. You're right, crapshack, you don't live my life, but then, no one does, so your comments are just as valid as anyone's... And your advice isn't crappy... It's good.

Sometimes death is the only way out, you know. I'll take it, but only if I have to. And right now I'm feeling kinda 'unbalanced' so there's really only one thing keeping me alive. I'm just getting fed up with myself, and if I can't change things, I'm going to have to get rid of me.

Aside from that all, I don't think I'll have to go live with my dad just yet...which is good... But I do have to go visit the bastard soon.

i heard some where that ppl "take their lifes" to be noticed and people that do are selfish but by the sounds of it your life is a bit pap


no offense meant

hope you get it sorted :good:

I thought...Before when my Stepdad insulted me..I had worst problems... Now i take it back... I can't imagine living like that.

sathe death is not the way out it's the in.